I forgot...

In my New Year Zeal to post yesterday, I forgot a couple things, which is completely in step with the way I live my life. I spend time every day looking for something I've misplaced. Most days it's just my keys and phone. Scott gave me a remote key finder for Christmas--the perfect gift for me.  I've only used it a few times so far since Justin has become my chauffeur. He actually hangs the key on the key hook. But once he's back in school, and I'm driving on my own again, it will get plenty of use.

Today I have looked for three misplaced objects -- a book I need to write up in the next week for class, the two essays that I printed out and read and now need to have feedback ready for Monday, and a checkbook.

So, here are the forgotten things...

This picture.

Anna in the best Christmas present ever (besides my key finder). It's a Totoro cape. It even has whiskers. Miyazaki fans will be jealous. The rest of you need to check out some Miyazaki anime. Then buy Totoro capes.

How could I forget my most looked-forward to book this year? I was sad when I came to the end. I will reread Gilead, Home, and Lila (though I've misplaced Gilead. Maybe I loaned it out? Maybe I gave it to the library in a stack of returned books like i did with Lila).

I felt the same sadness when I finished Don Quixote years ago. I had read it leisurely, over the course of a year. Ending it felt like the end of a friendship. I actually looked for it a couple weeks ago, but, of course, I can't find it. Maybe it didn't make the cut to get shipped here from France. Though seeing how the cat made the cut, I would think Don Quixote would have...

Rescued from the library lost and found.

That's all that I forgot, but you can't have just two pictures on a post, so here's  Pepper in her reindeer costume that she will be happy to see packed away for the next eleven months.

Pepper, oh so happy that her family cares enough to dress her up for the holidays.

A New Year

Today, in honor of the new year, I'm writing on resolutions, my classwork, books, and anything else that comes up.

New Year Resolutions

My friend Tracy posted these New Year's reflections at her blog, Traveling Clues. She writes, "Our lives take on the most value, purpose and meaning when we practice the discipline of reflection. To examine the choices we make and why, to evaluate the values by which we want to live, to consider the relationships in our lives, and such."

Anna's Christmas sweater

I wrote down answers to her questions this morning and looked through some sparse notes that I had taken at conferences and from my reading throughout the year.

I wrote down over a year ago, during a rare few hours of quiet and reflection at Pokagon State Park with a friend, "May I be faithful in the small things and not afraid to do the big things."

That's still where I'm at. What's small and what's big is not always clear, but I do want to be faithful and not afraid.

My knitting niece

It's been two and a half years that we've been back in the US, and I find that I'm resisting the striving that is in the air we breathe here. I feel like I am surrounded by messages to want and be and do something more. Much of it is good--health and relationships and caring for the world.

Notice Justin's ugly Christmas sweater.

But it can lead to a dissatisfaction that is permanent and strips me of the peace and joy of now. Joy that is independent of my weight or the state of my house. Peace that faces messy relationships and mistakes with grace.

And my brother's classy Christmas sweater

Grad School

I'm about to enter my second semester of my master's program in creative non-fiction at Ashland University. My writing for my coursework is focused on our time in France. I have four chapters done and will end with a book-length project that will hopefully become a real book when it grows up.

I've loved the required reading. My two favorites so far are The Empathy Exams and The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.

I totally beat these guys at the game in between preparing roasted sprouts, my new favorite food.

Publications

My first published essay, Life in the Infertility Belt, was published at Eclectica this summer. InterVarsity's The Well published three articles this year--Gifts to Empty Places, Ebola, and Louie Zamperini and Loving the Other. I have a few essays out that I've waiting to hear back about, and one almost ready to send out. This new one, which has been percolating for a year, is about issues of race and safety that I've struggled with since preparing to move back here.

My brother performing feats of strength with my nephew.

Four Books

I still haven't finished two of my favorite books this year--Christena Cleveland's Disunity in Christ and Lewis Hyde's, The Gift: Creativity and Artist in the Modern World. Cleveland makes startling statements like, "People can meet God within their cultural context but in order to follow God, they must cross into other cultures because that's what Jesus did in the incarnation and on the cross." Then she backs it up. 

Pepper at the family Christmas party. It's not her favorite.

It was at the Word and Words Conference in Louisville this October that I heard of The Gift. I know exactly where I am in The Gift, page 121, because pages 1-120 are underlined in red and black pen.

Pepper opening her Christmas present--a rawhide bone from the pantry.

Here's a random underlined quote, "When either the donor or the recipient begins to treat a gift in terms of obligation, it ceases to be a gift, and though many in such a situation will be hurt by the revealed lack of affection, the emotional bond, along with it's power, evaporates immediately." It is crazy how much this book has influenced my thinking on writing and life these last few months.

Christmas kitties.

I first heard of An Idea Whose Time has Come about the passing the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Though politics is not my strong suit, it was helpful for me to understand the myriad factors involved in getting significant, life-changing legislation passed.

I'm looking forward to seeing Selma in a few weeks. One criticism of the movie is its depiction of Johnson as against the Civil Rights Act. The book depicts Johnson's role honestly and fully. Very worth a read.

All dressed up for Christmas Eve.

Last favorite book of the year was Unbroken. I saw the movie last week. My take is that the movie is fine, but the book is excellent.

I think people walk away from the movie with a great appreciation of Louie Zamperini's endurance and story. The same is true of the book, but the book pushes further into the story of Zamperini's struggles post-war and the prison guard's escape from any kind of punishment.  I had to deal with my own feelings of injustice in the face of a man who committed terrible acts, was unrepentant, and then forgiven.

Ok, this is a wonderful thing. We have missed cheese fondu here. I usually made it once or twice a year in France. I priced the cheese I would need last year, and it would have cost a small fortune to have enough for the four of us to have our full fill of melty Emmental, Gruyère, and Comté cheese. But, at Costco, I came across this carton of the magical three cheeses, bought it, and melted it in its container in the microwave.  It was so good. It wasn't cheap at $8, but it wasn't $40 either . Now I just need them to stock frozen French pastries for me to pop in the oven, and all will be well.

Happy New Year to one and all!

The Zoo

This was our first official full week of summer. I was a little nervous going into it, wondering about managing work schedules and trying to make sure the kids don't zone out in front of screens for too many hours at a time.

Monday, the kids and I went to the zoo. This may be a weekly thing since we have a membership. As I saw other families with strollers, I was grateful that my kids are big kids now. I don't have to push them around and they usually don't cry in the middle of outings.

Anna and a goat

 I took a picture of Justin and a goat too, but he made me promise not to put it on facebook. Promise kept. I made no such promises about pictures taken the rest of the day and put on the blog...

We happily paid a dollar for a lettuce leaf to feed the giraffe.

Feeding the giraffes is the coolest thing. This one is pretty easygoing, so the keeper let us interact with her. The biggest giraffe is more aggressive and will head butt people if given the opportunity.

She's so pretty.

 Question of the day--do you know why giraffes' tongues are black (or grayish)?

We waited for a woman to vacate an egg so that we could play.

Anna in her egg

A little big for my egg.

For some reason there are several pictures of Justin in his egg. He looks the coolest in this one though.

At the end of our first week of summer, I have to say that doing summer with a car and plenty of activities available in the area is way more fun than doing it without. 

It's been a while.

We've had some computer problems, so have been sharing one computer (gasp) lately. We're hoping to fix this all in the next few days as we get a new hard drive in the mail and do some computer surgery.

The kids both had their Christmas shows last night--Anna's at 6pm, Justin's at 7pm. Anna's class was tri-lingual, singing in French, English, and Italian. Their English song was a jazzy version of "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" which including jazzy choreography. Extremely cute.

Justin's class sang "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" and the John Lennon Christmas song--"So this is Christmas". There were a LOT of songs in English during his show including an Abba song, the one about dreaming a dream and a new song to me, "Have a Rosy Christmas".

We stayed after Justin's to snack and chat while Anna looked in vain for a rose (roses had been passed out to the audience at the end of the Rosy Christmas Song). The combination of a very long day and the lack of a rose was not a good one, but a plate of spaghetti before bed and choosing gifts for her teachers cheered her up.

I was going to include some footage of Justin's class singing "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas." Anna did the filming and did some fancy camera choreography that adds a little zip to the song. Think Holly Jolly Christmas  as a roller coaster. Alas, the server is rejecting my video.

On another note, Justin's wrist is healing well after breaking it in two places a couple of weeks ago. He had a big cast for two weeks, and now has a smaller one just on his lower arm and wrist. He enjoyed being famous for a few days (since everyone wanted to know the details) and noted that adults all asked about how he did it, then proceeded to tell about times they broke bones.

Will try to fight for computer access over the coming days...

Basketball Report

This post was to be all about how Justin and his team finally won a basketball game. How after a four game losing streak, we cheered him to victory Saturday afternoon. Alas, (as Anna has been saying a lot lately), it was not to be.

Justin has a spy friend who plays in the same club as the opposing team. He had informed Justin last week that they were definitely beatable. At practice on Friday, the boys were upbeat and hopeful. Even as the teams were warming up pre-game, things looked good. Unfortunately, Justin's friend was a double agent underestimating his club-mates' skills.

It was bad. Not only the ending score--65 to 16, I think, but Justin was angry. He had played hard, and received all manner of bumps and bruises for his effort (the worst was the knees to the head as he was going for a ball).  The coach even took us aside after the game to recommend a homeopathic pain-reliever/bruise preventer for him.

And he was not only physically battered, but truly disappointed this time. It matters to him, which is what makes him a great player. He doesn't give up.

 I offered to make him whatever he wanted when we came home, so made our standard no-egg chocolate cake with marzipan paste rolled out on top. It helped some.

He was still under the weather Sunday morning, but had recovered by the afternoon. He had some strange pain behind his ear tonight, which momentarily freaked me out as I figured we had missed a concussion and he was now in real danger. But it looks like he got some kind of bite and a dab of cream did the trick.

Thank goodness the child doesn't play rugby.

Church Weekend

Since Friday was a holiday, we headed up to our church weekend in the mountains Thursday evening.

During this time of year, the mornings are clear and sunny, and the weather can turn  in the afternoon. So, outside activities took place in the mornings.

Much to the delight of the kids, our first major activity Friday morning was burning stuff.

Branches and leaves had been collected during previous work weeks and put in piles. But they were damp and needed a great deal of tending to actually burn.

Some people worked on raking leaves, some tended the fire, some stood around chatting (me). But Anna was totally into the yard work.

I guess as a city kid, the opportunity to play with fire for a few hours was too good to resist. There was adult supervision of the fire, mind you.

 She did a lot of hauling leaves and branches to the fire. Lots and lots. For hours.

In sensory processing language, this kind of activity is called a heavy work activity, and it's very good for her on multiple levels. Throughout the weekend, she would head out and fill up the wheelbarrow and push it around. If our yard was big enough, I would be thinking at this point about getting her wheelbarrow for Christmas. Just kidding, but still...

She worked so hard Friday morning that she said she was sleepy near the end of lunch. So we went up to our room to have a little rest and she feel fast asleep for a couple hours. I dozed off too (all that chatting, you know).

On another note, my computer is making an odd noise, so I'm taking it in to get it quieted down today. Hoping it doesn't take too long, but there may be no new posts for several days.

Teeny Tiny Kids

I happened on pictures from our last couple of years in Gabon today, and I couldn't resist putting these up.  This first one was in the hotel pool close to the apartment we lived in the year before moving to Nice. 

There are lots of pictures of the Anna playing at the beach. She loved the sand and the water. That look of concentration and the cheeks is the same in the next one...

The chubby little arms, the curls, the cheeks...sigh. I like seeing my kids grow up, but still...

 This is on our balcony right before digging into Anna's chocolate birthday cake. I pretty sure this is a, "Mom, do we have to take a picture?" picture. I have none with Anna giving me that look, probably because we got the digital camera right before traveling to Colombia for her adoption. So, she was very used to me taking pictures ALL the time (those curls, I couldn't resist).

This is my favorite Anna picture from this time period. We were in the middle of Gabon at Bongolo Hospital, which is a story to tell another time. She's soooooooooo winsome, and I love the very big curls.

I think this is the first picture of Justin taking a picture of himself. The beginning of a long Harris kid tradition.

I'll end with this one taken in Nice, a year before our move here. We visited the summer before to have a look around, and we decided we liked it.

I'm going to have my first (and perhaps last) blog contest this week. It will involve a book, a question, and a number. Stay tuned...

Chapter Books

After trying to consistently read chapter books to Anna over the years, it has finally 'taken', and I have her hooked on them. I love reading picture books as well, but there are so many good chapter books out there (and in here--as in, in our apartment) that I want to share with her.

We started with the BFG in  September. She loved it. The giant is charming, and his words are great fun to read aloud.

Since we have a set of Roal Dhal books, we moved on to the next one, Fantastic Mr. Fox. Anna had seen the movie, so often knew what was going to happen next. It's not as charming as the BFG, but we liked it.

Then we read George's Marvelous Medicine. Justin had read it, but I'm not sure if I have before. Dahl books are like fairy tales in that there are good and evil characters. Good triumphs in the end, and there isn't much redemption for evil characters, whether they be giants, farmers, or naughty children (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory--which we have read together as a family). Our problem with George's Marvelous Medicine is that the evil character is George's grandma, which makes it hard to be really happy at the end when she gets her due. I was hoping for some kind of redemption.

Now we're at the beginning of Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, which at this point is pretty bizarre. It takes place where Charlie and the Chocolate Factory leaves off. 

Anna had wanted to read the BFG again, but I think she could try reading it on her own. I'm happy to read picture books over and over (except Amelia Bedelia books--which drive me up the wall), but I don't see re-reading a chapter book until a year has gone by. If the Great Glass Elevator disappoints, we may move on to another author for now. 

Justin and I are reading The Ear, the Eye, and the Arm. It takes place in Zimbabwe a couple hundred years from now and has an interesting mix of futuristic and African world view elements. I like the title characters, and the worldview elements will be worth discussing.

The kids have a week and a half of fall break now, which is great timing. It's been a good start all around for the school year, but it's been intense. We will be visiting dear friends and taking lots of pictures next week in Paris. 

Farm Pictures

Anna and I went to a birthday party way out of town Saturday. It was a gorgeous day, and I took lots of pictures. The kids happily fed, brushed, and held animals all afternoon.

 They started by feeding the goats. There were cute little signs like this everywhere.

 We were at the donkey/cow enclosure for a long time. One of the girls dropped her ring while feeding a donkey, so the kids kept looking for something shiny in the hay long after the ring had likely settled into a farm animal's stomach.

 Here's the rabbit hutch and the chicken/duck/geese coop. There were guinea pigs in with the rabbits, and the kids spent lots and lots of time in here--maybe forty-five minutes.

 Anna with one guinea pig.

 Anna with two guinea pigs.

 Feeding the geese and ducks.

 No translation needed.

Justin's basketball match on Saturday--final score eighty something to twenty something. Justin's team had the twenty something score. The other team had twelve kids, one of whom was, according to Justin, a two meter giant. This could be a slight exaggeration since two meters is six foot six. Justin's team had six kids. And no giants. 

Journée de la Gentillesse

Anna's school sent out the schedule for special events and vacations yesterday, and I saw that today is "La Journée de la Gentillesse" (day of kindness). I asked Anna about it, and she said she was just going to keep her mouth shut all day. Fair enough. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all works and would probably help the dinnertime sibling squabbling here...

Scott and I go in to meet with the director of the school this afternoon to make sure she is up to date and get some things sorted. Things like asking if Anna can park her bike at school. And seeing if changes can be made in Anna's lunches.

Tomorrow, Scott has an informational meeting about the Mark drama (Marc L'Expérience). Our new team member will go along to cheer Justin's basketball team, and Anna and I go to a birthday party at a farm.

Farm pictures and basketball report next time!

Justin's first basketball game

Justin's team played their first game of the season Saturday. Scott went with the camera as I took the bus to the airport to pick up our new team member. Throughout the game, I received text updates of the score.

At 2:25 pm. "Losing 19 to 8."

 At 2:43 pm, "37 to 18."

At 3:13 it was 47 to 27.

 

Final score at 3:38--68 to 36.

Scott said the coach was upbeat, and that the team played a good game. The other team was simply too big, as in physically big, and older than our guys.
I love the passion and determination in these shots, and it was fun to fiddle with the editing. These games will be our Saturday afternoon activity throughout the year. Since I am a  Hoosier at heart, I'm looking forward to it.

The moment I've dreaded

The date has been on my calendar since mid August--Anna's orthodontist appointment on the 27th of September.

Last November, Anna's dentist had her see an orthodontist. It was time to correct her underbite while her mouth was still developing. Since this seemed early to me, I checked into it, but this kind of thing can be fixed relatively simply while the mouth is still developing.

The first orthodontist did not work. There is actually a long story involving tears and desperate prayers.

Another long story short: the lady who I buy fruit and vegetables from at the market recommended a kind orthodontist whose office is just down the street.

We saw her. She and her office staff were patient and kind, and Anna eventually got two simple retainers. The top was attached to bands on two back teeth and the bottom was to be taken out for meals. These were not to stay on for long--six months. June 1st to December, and then we would see.

From the occupational therapist's report, we know now that Anna's oral sensitivities are severe, so you can all imagine how this whole process went, and you would be about right. Anna was very brave, and usually brought a stuffed animal, but it was not easy.

Anna played with the bottom retainer constantly; it made a funny clicking noise when it clicked in. When she had a hard time wearing it, I let it go since I figured we had six months anyway, and we could go easy the first few weeks. She eventually got used to wearing it, but moved it around in her mouth constantly.

By the time we had her first appointment back, she had broken a wire off the top retainer. So it was taken out to be repaired, and we scheduled an appointment ten days later to have it put back in.

In the meantime, on a day when we went up to have a barbecue with friends out of town, we lost the bottom retainer. We have gone over the day over and over...she had it in her mouth in the car, not in the swimming pool, etc. Gone.

When we went to have the upper retainer put back in, I braced myself to inform the orthodontist that we lost the bottom retainer. But she wasn't there; she had a replacement. However, Anna would have none of it, and we had to reschedule for a few weeks later when our orthodontist would be back from vacation.

The second week of August we had our appointment and the appliance was put back on with a minimum of fuss. The orthodontist did not chastise me about the loss of the bottom one. She even said that we may not need it at this point because the bottom teeth looked like they were in good position.

After about ten days, one of the wires was broken off. Then a band around a back tooth came off (not magically by itself, mind you). We traveled to England for our orientation conference in Gloucester where eventually half the upper retainer was hanging from one side of her mouth. Another long story involving tears, desperate prayers, and a very patient and kind British orthodontist, and what was left of the retainer ended up in a ziplock bag.

So, the date for our next official appointment with the orthodontist was today. I wanted to talk to our occupational therapist for her opinion on how to move forward, which I did a few weeks ago. We both agreed that it may be better to wait six months and work on exercises to desensitize Anna's mouth in the meantime.

I practiced my little speech about all of this in my head. The orthodontist is always pleasant and understanding, but I was afraid of her reaction to seeing the mangled, dental appliance in a plastic baggie instead of in Anna's mouth. And, as always, I like to be the cooperative, not difficult person--two broken appliances and a lost one within four months qualifies as difficult, not to mention the difficulty involved in just getting my kid to sit in the chair, put her head back, and open her mouth.

The doctor was, as always, kind and understanding. She said we were probably right, then had Anna get in the new pink chair to see her teeth. This was not done without some difficulty, but finally Anna was seated with her mouth open.

And, get this, she said they are fine. Anna's teeth. As in, no underbite. She actually used the word miracle. In a few years, Anna will probably need braces to straighten out her top teeth, but that's it.

So, I feel, of course thankful, and somewhat bemused about the whole thing. It's been such a difficult thing since the whole process began last November. And now this chapter is closed for a while.

I'll end with the mangled appliance...

Back to School Night

Last night was back to school night at Justin's school. He is in the seventh grade. Here, that is the second of four years in middle school.

The evening is predictable; two hours of each of the teachers coming into the classroom, explaining their program, how the class is doing, etc.

Also predictable was the opening parental outcry against heavy backpacks. Apparently, on Tuesday, one student's backpack weighed 18.2 kilos. Forty pounds. The kids don't have lockers because there's no room for them, and there are no shelves in the classroom to store books on. This discussion lasted a while.

A few general observations:

1. These teachers are passionate about their subject matter and how they teach it.

2. The kids are getting a solid education using up-to-date technology. They probably are doing less on the computer than American kids; essays are still written, not typed. But the teachers are using  interactive white boards and doing cool things like dissecting fish heads from the market. I can't say that at twelve I would have enjoyed this, but I still think it's a good thing.

3. The chairs are really hard and uncomfortable, and there is absolutely nothing on the classroom walls. I guess this is because the kids are not changing classrooms; the teachers are coming to them.  But it does feel stark.

4. The physical education program is way better than what I had in junior high. As I mentioned in a previous post, the kids are sailing now, and will be moving on to ping pong, badminton, swimming, circus skills, and finish with rugby. Circus skills? It's because they have to do something cultural, and the options were circus or dance. They'll be learning to juggle; hopefully no trapeze or lion taming...In any case, way better than the weekly dodge ball games that I was subjected to throughout junior high and high school.

As we were leaving, a few parents were discussing rugby. This is a photo of an insurance ad in today's paper featuring a rugby player after a match (in case that wasn't immediately clear). I can understand the hesitation here. Rugby doesn't come across as a very safe sport for twelve year olds.

Justin's best friend is sporty, but tiny. His mom is hoping that maybe he'll be allowed just to be a goal post or something (are there goal posts in rugby?).

Strengths

I read the following here at Scot McKnight's blog at the end of July in a post remembering John Stott, pastor, speaker, author: 

It was the summer of 1975. Kris and I were in Belgium at a huge Christian event called EuroFest. I was sitting at a panel discussion and someone I admired, a British pastor and minister to college students all over the world, John Stott, was one of the panelists. A long-haired young man to my right asked John Stott a question we were all facing and that we all face: How can I discern the Lord’s will for my life?

John Stott made an observation that clarified my dream for me, and I’ve pondered his answer over and over in my life. I’ve used his answer in countless talks and conversations. Here are his words as I recall them: “Here’s how to determine God’s will for your life: Go wherever your gifts will be exploited the most.”

The quote has stuck with me over the last two months.

During our orientation conference in August, we received training on  Strengths Based Leadership. Besides the value of thinking through my particular strengths and how to use and develop them, I have been thinking about my kids and how we help them develop their strengths and abilities.

Justin is a sporty kid. For the last five years, he has had some kind of after school sports activity--basketball, gymnastics, tennis, back to basketball. He is absolutely loving it. I am not sporty at all (besides my attempts at exercise), and my physical education courses in school were at best embarrassing and at worst demoralizing.   When Justin came home last year with the highest grade in his class in physical education,  I just about rolled my eyes. Although I allow the extra activities, it didn't hit me until recently, that I don't really celebrate that strength in him. I did finally fully congratulate him this month for his amazing score in physical education at school. Better late than never.

One of the myriad of reasons that Anna struggled so much with school last year is that practically all her school day was spent doing what was difficult for her; writing and working with material that was too visually charged. It's like if I as a child had to take physical education classes all day, every day. The very thought makes me cringe. My poor kid. 

I meet with her teacher before school this morning to talk through modifications to put in place as we work with the occupational therapist. For now, we'll be reducing the amount of handwriting that she needs to do so that her energies can be focused on learning. 

Next post: Anna's lentil-filled blanket 

Making Friends

Thursday, I was worried. Many, many details have fallen into place with school and Anna's adjustment. But as I left her in line, she was standing alone, forlorn, and lagged behind the group as her class went up the steps.

I am learning to advocate for her, but I can't make friends for her. 

When I picked her up in the afternoon, she was cheerful and said that she had a new friend. Now we have a play date for Wednesday at her new friend's house.

I love quick answers to desperate prayers.

Also, on the friend front, Anna decided that she wanted to make friends with an older lady down the hall who has dogs. I was a little hesitant about this. We have always said hello to this lady and helped her out years ago when her toilet was flooding, but showing up with my daughter at her door felt a little too forward to me.

So, I put Anna off for a day and said we needed to at least make cookies to bring with us. Thursday I made chocolate chip cookies, and we took a plate of them over and rang the doorbell. No response and some tears. We tried again later (with the warning that we would only try if Anna would not get too upset if she wasn't there), and figured that she was probably out walking the dogs. Finally, on our third try, she was back. We offered our cookies and friendship; we came in and chatted.

It turns out that after babysitting her great grandson during the week for the last few years,  he started school this year, so she has been feeling a little lonely. She said Anna could visit anytime and was extremely happy with the kids' offer to accompany her walking the dogs although she warned that they wouldn't accept anyone else holding the leash.

So, Anna spent a good deal of time with our neighbor yesterday afternoon and helped walk her dogs in the evening. And the smaller of the two dogs obeyed perfectly with Anna taking the leash. Our neighbor was pleased to have companionship (some plans to be with family had fallen through), and Anna was thrilled to hang out with the dogs, watch tv, and make a new friend.

Picasso

As we talk on the way home from school, daily I question Anna to find out about her day. Interrogate may be a more accurate description. I'm dying to know everything.

Her first answers this week were what she hated. On Monday she hated the school because she spilled her water during lunch, was scolded (maybe), and the kids laughed.

On Tuesday she hated the first graders. Really hated the first graders. This took a while to understand. I couldn't figure out how a small group of cute six year olds could incur Anna's wrath. Through a great deal of questioning on my part, I discovered the source of the conflict-- her class doesn't eat lunch until  1 pm because the first graders go before them. And Anna was hungry that day. She's eaten a good breakfast every morning since. She's frying up bacon to add to her regular fare to make it through (we're working on the kids learning more kitchen skills). And they have a mid-morning snack.

No school on Wednesday,  though next week she will try the Mini Club that the school runs.

Yesterday, she didn't hate anything. This was progress.

As I questioned her about her day, she recounted a long story (she drew it out because she knew it was dramatic and worth telling well) of how one of the school cooks cut her forehead while the third graders were eating lunch. This was told with lots of pantomime of how the cutting may have happened  and  completed with example of the kid' facial expressions and reactions to the yell of the cook. This was clearly the most memorable event of the day.

Using my advanced interrogation skills, we stopped at the Italian gelateria, where I bought her a single scoop cone, hoping to glean some more information. We sat down on the bench outside next to an older French woman.  I asked Anna again about her day, and the French lady asked me in English if I was American. I said yes, whereupon she embraced me, kissed me on the cheek, and thanked me for coming to France's aid during World War 2.

I'm not kidding. Anna and I didn't get much talking done on the bench.

It wasn't until 8:30 that Anna filled us in on the best part of her day. Her class of sixteen had been split in two so they could do art and music in smaller groups.

Instead of telling me about music, she walks over to the piano (a used digital piano that we bought for Justin's piano lessons last year), and with correct finger positioning (as far as I can tell), shows me fa sol la ti do while naming the notes. Then she takes a notebook and draws the treble clef and shows where fa is. And then she says some Italian words because the music teacher is Italian. And the class takes place in Italian. Too cool.

Then we move on to art. Miss Helen showed the class works of art by three artists. The children  chose one of the artists and drew their own picture in that artists' style.
Here's what is cool and what led Anna to say, "God is really taking care of me."

Several days ago Anna pulled a book off our shelves that we had never read together. It's a picture book that tells about Pablo Picasso's childhood. Pablito drew pictures on walls, painted his sister's face with egg yolk, and engaged in other inappropriate artistic behaviors until his father, an amateur artist, saw one of his drawings in the sand and turned over his art materials so his kid could draw and paint on more appropriate surfaces. Anna identifies with little Pablo being misunderstood and feeling frustrated. So she had me read it twice, and we decided that we would visit the Picasso museum Saturday to celebrate the end of the first week of school.

So, of course this Thursday,  one of the three artists was Pablo Picasso, and though I don't know what she drew at school, at home she drew four line drawings of his work as she told me about it.

Inventions

There are other things going on in our lives besides Anna's new school. Some are worthy of a blog post--like Justin playing on a basketball team this year (first practice was last night). Others not so much.  For example, my battle this week against the tartar build-up in our toilet and the replacement of the toilet seat (it looks so much better already) are a part of my daily life and could lead to sharing of anti-tartar build-up suggestions  and other helpful house cleaning tips.

But for today, the post once again is about the new school. 

Here's what happened last Thursday.

Anna had briefly met the French teacher and seen the school last June, but I wanted her to meet her English teacher and have time to look around. 

Scott called to set it up since I was sure they would say no since teachers are busy and of course don't have time for this kind of thing two days before school. 

It was a yes, come anytime.

So, we headed down to the school Thursday morning. As she road her bike beside me, Anna started asking about inventions. She loves science. In fact, she loves it so much that she burst into tears last night when she saw Justin's lab coat that he needed for chemistry. We'll be making one for her. 

Her birthday party this year had a science theme. The kids created their own robots out of boxes, buttons, bottle tops and lots of aluminum foil. We mixed up cornstarch and water and made a huge, lovely mess on the outside table. The kids formed it into to balls, dropped them on the table, and watched the ball turn to liquid. It was a very cool birthday party.

Anyway, back to Thursday, she said she wanted to invent something and happily prattled on about it. She wanted to know if inventing something is hard and decided that she wants to make her own invention.

We arrived at the school and went up to the classroom with Miss Helen, who started to tell us about what they'll be studying this year--grammar, the human body, etc. Then she enthusiastically said that the big project that the class will be working on throughout the year will be--inventions. 

Within the context of what Anna went through with school last year and both of our jitters about the beginning of school this year, this felt like way more than a happy coincidence. It felt like a large, beautifully wrapped, hand-delivered gift from God to Anna.

The class has started already by working together on an invention this week. As Anna tells it, it's a robot that is supposed take ones' glasses off. They are hoping to be able to make it talk. It was missing two large nails that someone is bringing in today.

Justin, who is definitely a product of the French school system, doesn't quite believe her. He can imagine no scenario in which this kind of activity could occur in the first week of school. Then again, sailing is a part of his physical education curriculum this year.  And he gets to wear a cool lab coat on Fridays.

                            Day Two

Anna rode her bike to school today as I tried my best to keep up. It takes twenty minutes if we hit all the green lights. 

As she was  v e r y  s l o w l y getting ready this morning, Anna said several times that she hated her new school. But, knowing that this is the child who has spoken in superlatives since she first began to communicate,  I choose to believe that, " I hate my new school," really means, "I'm pretty tired this morning and would rather stay in bed." Which was how I felt this morning too.

Why the new school? 

She is at this small, bilingual school because I came along to a class picnic three and a half months ago. During the month of May, 1st and 2nd graders spend a day in an olive grove in the city, and each class performs a traditional Nicois dance. It's supposed to be fun. 

There are hundreds and hundreds of kids; and in my experience, it is either extremely hot or rainy. As I remember, Justin got the rain for both years. 

Anna got super hot. When I arrived around eleven a.m., the kids were either sitting in a small strip of shade along the stone wall or playing in another small piece of shade under a nearby olive tree. The children up playing were eventually instructed to come and sit in the shade strip because it was too hot.

So they sat. Their performance was scheduled for 3pm. It wasn't time for lunch yet. The teacher went off to get their class portion of socca, a traditional Niçois chick pea pancake thing. It took about forty-five minutes. The kids were hot, bored, and hungry. They were supposed to wait. They weren't allowed to play. 

You get the picture.

It wasn't really fun for anyone. Some parents eventually rebelled and allowed the kids in their charge to start in on their lunches. Our shade strip was getting smaller, so we moved to a large olive tree where the kids sat. Some played card games. Then it was time to change for the dance. Which the kids did under the olive tree. We walked over to our stage and waited in line while the fifteen classes still ahead of us took their turns. It was all behind schedule.

So, within the context of this day that wasn't very pleasant or fun for anyone, Anna was quietly miserable. Perhaps not more than anyone else in terms of comfort or expectations vs. reality. But I saw how socially ostracized she was and saw what her interactions were like with her classmates and how she is perceived by others. I suddenly switched from thinking that with lots of support, Anna can make it in the French school system to realizing that she could never thrive in this system. 

This last year was incredibly difficult for her at school. She showed increasing signs of stress from the very first days. Her only friends were in the grade above her. She struggled with the work.

Now that we have a diagnosis of sensory processing disorder, we know the causes of her struggles with school work. But I am also very sure that the small bilingual school is a place where she will be happy and cared for in a way that she wasn't in a large school where the emphasis was on children adapting to the system instead of teachers adapting to the child.

Even with a good teacher, which she did have last year, it just didn't work.

As I said to Anna, the new school is not magic. It will not all be perfect and easy. But it will be a better fit for her.

Next post...Inventions.

Story Time

A couple weeks ago, Anna, in the second grade, had several photocopied pages to read for homework. She was less than enthusiastic, but we settled onto the couch and began reading.

Here's a summary:

Mister Seguin had a beautiful little white goat. He made sure she had everything she needed. The goat wanted to go into the mountains. Mister Seguin said that it wasn't safe, that last year Renaude, another of his goats, had gone to the mountain. She had fought off a wolf through the night, and it ate her in the morning.

The beautiful white goat insists that she wants to go, so Mister Seguin locks the goat in the barn, but forgets to close the window. The beautiful white goat escapes.

She spends a lovely day frolicking in the mountains.

The beautiful white goat is happy. Really, really happy.

Night falls, she hears Mister Seguin calling for her. She hears a wolf. She chooses to stay on the mountain.

At this point in the story, I have a bad feeling about this. Anna is getting teary-eyed. I skim ahead. Anna is right.

The goat fights off the wolf all night. Morning is coming, and the beautiful white goat lays down, covered in blood, and the wolf eats her.

Really.

Is that not the worst bedtime story you have ever heard?

I don't think Disney will be making this into an animated feature anytime soon.

I know there are plenty of disturbing stories out there for kids. Hansel and Gretel comes to mind. Little Red Riding Hood. But the witch doesn't get to eat the kids. Little Red Riding Hood, even in its most gory version, gets cut out of the wolf's stomach and has a nice lunch with Grandma.

Poor Anna. To put salt on the wound, she had to memorize a poem on the goat as well. At least it was the happy part about her frolicking in the mountains, but still...

Narcissism

I overheard the kids playing in the living room the other day. Something to do with arranging blankets and making a tent. At one point, Anna complained about her hair getting messed up, and Justin responded with, "That's o.k., you're a mommy."

I thought this was strange at first, but then figured it had to do with the general state of my hair. I try to keep it combed and presentable, but my standards aren't high. I have untagged myself in Facebook photos where it looked particularly unkempt.

My hair looked really good for three days in August. I got it cut while we were in Bogotà, and some magical combination of hair product and the fifteen minute blow dry turned it into what Justin referred to as a helmet. But it was a lovely, sleek, shiny helmet.

The following photo will be my Facebook profile picture forever. It was taken the day of the cut.

Sideview. Anna's do is from the same place. The ribbon was braided into her hair.

Day two and it was still looking good as we went to a children's festival.

Day three, still couldn't bring myself to wash it and bring it all to an end.

Alas, I finally washed it. For a few weeks I tried to blow dry and style it. But my arm gets tired of holding up the blow dryer. And I'll just have to wash it again and start over in a few days.

Oh, and I realized that Justin said, mummy, not mommy. They were pretending that Anna was an Egyptian mummy. So the hair didn't matter as I guess it just mostly disintegrates over the millenia anyway.